“Some Friends”

You’ve heard the catchy advertisement, “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk” on the T.V. before, right? Well, there are actually quite a few things that a true friend wouldn’t let you do, if he/you/I were indeed a true friend. I’ve known many bad marriages that might have been saved by a good friend standing firm amidst the fog of love that so often clouds the minds of two impassioned lovers. Okay, so maybe there are some easier examples to swallow, but I’m sure you get my drift.

One of the things a true friend doesn’t let you do is become engrossed in a good book when you ought to be doing something else… like reading the text books for which you’ve paid so dearly. A true friend would know that, given the choice of dry, humorless school books and sidesplitting humor, the humor book is gonna win out every day (at least up until mid-terms!). A true friend would never risk jeopardizing your education just to make you laugh!

As you can tell, this is a rather personal issue, and not something I grabbed from the local headlines. My friend Victor Robison (formerly retired and now owner of “Victor’s Used Cars” just across the tracks on S. Main St.) brought two books over to my house during the football holiday season (as opposed to the current NCAA basketball holiday season) and suggested I give them some of my attention.

Addendum

I must add here that his brother Ray was also involved in this devious scheme to thwart my education. I must also reluctantly note that he too is a friend, but of an entirely different caliber than Victor. Ray is the kind of friend that finds pleasure in the look of grief that comes upon my face each time we meet. This first began in my office at City Hall, where he would pop his head in my door despite the best defensive efforts of my assistant. Each of these encounters started with a groan and/or grimace on my part, but these never deterred him, and over the course of time we… became… friends…

It still pains me to say it! He’s a friend like that nagging pain in your back that greets you every morning for many years, until a chiropractor realigns you one day, and the next morning you wake without that pain! You’re glad to be without the pain, but for some strange reason miss the routine that went with the torment. You no longer have a nagging motivation to stretch in the morning. Without the pain to grumble about, you find yourself at a loss for a conversation starter:

“Hey Paul, how’s your back doing?”

That may sound strange to some of you, but I know a couple of prayer partners who feel that same way about me! Oh, they act like I’m a complete nuisance (and I probably am) but if I miss a prayer meeting, they’re worried about me.

Long Story Longer…

What I’ve been trying to get around to is sharing with you one of these two books I was duped into reading. I laughed so hard I actually cried several times while reading it, and I just had to share it with you. But now I’m out of room and will have to save it for next week!

Here’s a tease: have you ever read anything funny in Field & Stream?

Next Week: Patrick McManus

Reach Paul and Julie Hill at hillsview@sbcglobal.net or at PO Box 599, Beebe, AR 72012

He Is Risen!

I’m writing on Friday night – my new weekend routine now that our editor has shifted the deadline to Friday at midnight. Although it’s Good Friday now, by the time this is read by anyone but the Beebe News staff, Easter will have come and gone. Therefore I bid you all a belated Happy Easter!

Book Review

It’s been a long time since I’ve reviewed a book for readers of this little corner of the Beebe News. Judgment is not really my shtick, but I have to tell you about this one.

“A Fine and Pleasant Misery” by Patrick F. McManus (ISBN 0-8050-0032-1) was thrust upon me over the Christmas break; a time when I was supposed to be letting my batteries recharge after a grueling first semester at school. The presenter (who has been named in previous columns and will go unmentioned from here on) promised it would be a “light read” and that I’d surely get a laugh out of it…

With my deadline just fifty-seven minutes away, I feel I better cut to the meat of my point…

I read this book during short bouts in my bedroom over the course of weeks, and I assure you that I have NEVER laughed so hard while reading a book in my whole life! I tried valiantly night after night to stifle my guffaws and chuckles while reading in bed at night, but it became more than I – and my frequently awakened wife – could handle, so I moved to more distant seating.

By the way, I have learned from this experience that stifling any laughter beyond just a short burst or a mild chuckle is a waste of time. Clasp your mouth, and it will simply sneak out your nose, which is funny in and of itself and sloppy as well. If you manage to plug both of these orifices, you’ll find that the laughs then well up as tears, and you end up rushing to the bathroom to find a towel with which to stifle your complete face! Of course this puts an end to the immediate reading, and I would titter and crawl back to bed. Eventually I just brought along a clean towel…

McManus tells tales of his youth in a spirit that is completely contagious, and I found myself caught up in his tales time after time. Any young boy that ever camped out, fished, or dreamed of adventure will laugh as I did.

McManus also has a great following of deer widows, mothers of young adventure seekers and other women readers, who used to applaud him as the only writer in Field & Stream that they could understand and enjoy. He has also picked up many a fan from doctor and dental patients who needed a tension-breaking laugh while idling in a waiting room. If you’ve ever seen someone laugh out loud in a doctor’s office while reading F&S, you can blame Patrick McManus.

Tick Tock Tick Tock…

Patrick McManus has been compared to Art Buchwald, Mark Twain, and Garrison Keillor, and I believe comes out on top. Find ANYTHING he has written and let mew know what you think, okay?

And if either of those Robison boys hand you a book to read in your limited spare time, I would run away quickly unless you too are in urgent need of some sinus clearing, eye watering laughter.

Next Week: it’s Julie’s Turn!

Reach Paul and Julie Hill at hillsview@sbcglobal.net or at PO Box 599, Beebe, AR 72012

Clinton Penthouse View

"After the long climb to the rooftop suites of our ex-pres. and school paragon, the Commander in Chief points us towards the rooftop outhouses to use prior to our immediate descent back to reality."Seriously, given the mid-crisis point at which we met with him (a future blog), he was very kind and generous. Actually, he was pointing out where the old railroad bridge would be renovated, crossing into N.L.R. and completing the bike/pedestrian trail that loops around the Arkansas River area.That's my bald head, peeking over his right arm...